Mom. A three letter word, endless meanings. Caretaker, nurturer, giving, supportive, accepting, selfless, understanding, compassionate, strong… the list can go on and on. We learn so much from our moms, and most of the time we don’t realize it until we are an adult or have kids of our own. So for this Mother’s Day I want to reflect on how much my mom has taught me throughout the years.

 

  1. Be independent

No matter how reliable your family, spouse or friends may be, always be independent. I’m not talking about being overly independent to the point in which you never want anyone’s help, but be independent enough to know how to do and handle things on your own. Growing up in our house I never saw my mom sit and wait for someone to do something for her, she handled it. At any moment things can change. Your spouse and family could pass and your friends can disappear into the sun, and your left looking like a sad puppy because you have no idea on how to get things done. Nope not this girl!

  1. A closed mouth, don’t get fed

Ooh, I can’t tell you how many times my mom has said this to me. If you are not familiar with this saying, it means if you don’t ask for what you want, you can’t expect to get it. The younger me would let it go through in and out the other. But as an adult I totally get it, I even find myself saying it to my kids. People have the tendency not to speak up because they are afraid of what the outcome may be, but without asking you will never know. The worse that could happen is that they say, no. She always told me, you can’t expect people to read your mind, and you can’t get upset at those who don’t know what you want or need if you don’t say anything.

  1. If they don’t love you at your worst, they don’t deserve you at your best

Everyone has flaws and imperfections, and everyday you are not going to be at your best. You should not have to hide who you really are for people to embrace you.

  1. Be smarter than what you’re working with

I’m going to be honest, I never understood what the hell my mom was saying when she said this. I would usually respond with, “Ok, ma” and then keep it moving. Throughout the years I finally started understanding what she meant. I understand now that she meant when faced with challenges (whether its something as small as changing a light fixture to dealing with a difficult person) you must: 1. You must actually understand what you’re working with so do your research. 2. Find the easier way to achieve something, why make things harder for yourself. 3. Think outside the box, there is more than one way doing something

  1. Try your hardest

So, I’ve always been a horrible test taker. When I was in school I would have anxiety the morning of the test and I can remember my mom saying, “As long as you try your best, I won’t be mad at the results.” Not saying that she was absolutely thrilled if I happened to fail the test, but she knew that I used every resource I had to study for that test. As a mom, I am now telling my kids the same thing. I want them to know that all I ask for is that you try your absolute hardest in everything that you do. If you happen to fail, it’s ok; it only leaves room for improvement.

 

So mom, thank you. Everything I am, you taught me to be. I will always love you for every sacrifice that you’ve made for me. You are truly a wonder woman. In the words of Tupac, “You are appreciated.”

 

-XOXO your daughter Kahla Jas.

 

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A Letter: The Burnt-Out Mom

Hey there beautiful,

How are you doing today? Are you trying to hang in there? Does everything seem to be pushing your buttons lately? Has anyone asked how you were doing? If they have, let me guess, you answered “I’m Fine”, knowing deep down inside you are not fine. I get it, I fall victim to the response of “I’m Fine” all the time, I probably say it on a average of 4 times a week. But lets be real, we are not fine.

Let’s face it, we quickly say, “I’m Fine” to avoid the feeling of feeling guilty of not having it all together. We feel guilty because we live a society where women are looked at as always supposed to be “strong”, but sometimes we are not.

Motherhood is a job that comes with high sand lows, laughter and crying, joy and anger. All of these emotions can get pretty overwhelming after a while, sort of like a jack-in-a-box, it keeps turning until it POPS. Have you ever snapped at your husband and/or kids and then had to ask yourself why did I do that? What about being so tired that you let your kids and husband fend for themselves? Or have you ever had that feeling when you just can’t come up for air? Or what about the times when you are ready to just walk out the door and go far away…

Yep, your burnt-out girl!

I believe EVERY mother has experienced a period in motherhood when they are burnt-out and have that feeling of nothing else to give. We simply just need a break. I know, the thought has crossed through your mind, a break?

And I get it, how could us as mothers need a break from our families. We are the ones who are supposed to be the nurturers, the consolers, the one who takes care of the household for the family, the one who everyone can run to for love and support. So, when I say break I don’t mean a vacation where I’m on a island sipping Pina coladas; I mean a break for a few hours where my mind is focused on me and that the things that make me happy. Going to a coffee shop and reading a book, taking a hot bubble bath with some wine and candles, joining that exercise class, taking up a new hobby, going to see that sappy love movie at the theatre, or even going to have lunch by yourself. You know, just a few hours when you can feel like yourself again, a few hours when you can catch a breath of fresh air.

For me, I can honestly say I am “afraid” of giving myself breaks, solely because I fear that once I leave my house, all hell will break loose and once I return I will have more work that would need to be done. However, I am learning that we as moms do NEED breaks, in order to provide our family with the proper love. Without those mental breaks, we are no good to not only our husband and kids, but also to ourselves. Without those breaks I can’t be the attentive mother I need to be for my kids. Without those breaks I put my marriage with my husband on the back burner. Without those breaks I tend to forget things around the house.

I’ve read articles, which stated that the mom is the tone of the house, if mom is crabby, the rest of the house will follow suit and be crabby as well. Lucile Ball said it perfectly, “Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.” We as moms, have to be comfortable with taking/demanding our breaks. So, what do you do? If you are married, talk it over with your spouse and explain how you need this time and what it means to you. Or find a friend who has kids and is going through the same thing and work a plan out to have play dates so each of you can catch a breath of fresh air. Hire a babysitter. Or find a local moms group that you can join. Whatever you have to do get your break girl, do it… you not only need it, you deserve it!

– XOXO Kahla Jas.

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5 Sunday Preps to Make The Week Less Hectic

Man, the weekends don’t ever seem long enough, it feels like Friday just ended and we are probably asking ourselves can we just hit the reset button please? I know, we all dread Monday mornings, but whether we like it or not Monday will come, and it’s nothing worse than a hectic Monday morning, especially with kids.  Imagine running around the house finding the other pink sock for Lyric to put on, Skylar rummaging through her room looking for her library book that’s due at school, trying to pack lunches only to realize there is no more cheese for the sandwiches all while trying to be out the house no later than 7 a.m.. It’s a disaster!  Who wants to deal with all of that craziness on a Monday morning? Girl, not me! The only way I avoid all this craziness is if I prep on Sundays. Without prepping I am basically setting myself up for failure!

I know, I know, spending the last day of your weekend preparing for the week to come doesn’t sound enjoyable, but believe with a few adjustments, your Monday’s will be a breeze and may actually become one your favorite days of the week instead of it the worst. My lists of things are long, but definitely make a difference in our household.

GROCERY SHOPPING

I go through my refrigerator and shells to see what meals I can prepare for the week. I have absolutely fallen in love with grocery delivery/pick up services! It has become a complete lifesaver. I don’t know about you but I always hated lugging the kids to the grocery store, because I would 1. Either leaves with a headache from arguing with the kids about which cereal or fruit snacks we were getting this week or 2. Overspend because of instead of arguing let both kids get the flavor cereal or fruit snacks they wanted. With the online app, it is so easy to order the items that you need. And since I shop frequently, the app knows which items are my favorite and will usually ask me if I would like to add them without having to browse for them on the site. Once my shopping is complete I have the option to either pick them up for free of have them delivered later that day for a small nominal fee.  Either way my shopping is done for the week and I don’t have to worry about running back and forth to the store

MEAL PREP

At first glance meal prepping may seem overwhelming but once you get the hang of it, its pretty simple. I have to prepare meals in which ingredients can overlap. After cooking, I portion out the food in plastic container, and WHALA, food is ready for the week and easily grab-able from the fridge on the way out the door.

PICK OUT CLOTHES

Picking out outfits has not only been a lifesaver for me but also for my kids. After washing clothes I separate them into outfits. I include everything for one outfit, underclothes, shirt, tops, and whatever else would need to be put on. My kids’ bed has a drawer underneath that I put all of the clothes. It has helped a ton; especially those days when we are running late, the kids hop up, wash face and brush teeth, open the drawer and pull out their clothes for the day.

CHECK CALENDAR

With a busy week, it can be easy to forget things. In order to keep clear communication on events during the week, we like to jot them down on the calendar.

CLEAN OUT BOOK BAGS / WORK BAG

I don’t know about you but by the end of the week my kid’s book bags are a mess! Random papers, snack wrappers, abundant amount of pens and pencils that they cant ever seem to find. Why take all of that into the new week? Through it out and start fresh.

GET GAS

I know this may seem odd, but yes get gas before the week starts. You don’t know how many times I’ve said, “oo I will get gas tomorrow morning on my way to work.” HA GIRL FAILURE! When I usually wait till the morning of, it happens to be the craziest morning and we are usually running late, so I am a firm believer at getting it beforehand.

Believe me, Monday mornings are never really exciting, but at least with prepping it wont be hectic!

Happy prepping day girl,

– XOXO Kahla Jas.

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