Mom. A three letter word, endless meanings. Caretaker, nurturer, giving, supportive, accepting, selfless, understanding, compassionate, strong… the list can go on and on. We learn so much from our moms, and most of the time we don’t realize it until we are an adult or have kids of our own. So for this Mother’s Day I want to reflect on how much my mom has taught me throughout the years.
No matter how reliable your family, spouse or friends may be, always be independent. I’m not talking about being overly independent to the point in which you never want anyone’s help, but be independent enough to know how to do and handle things on your own. Growing up in our house I never saw my mom sit and wait for someone to do something for her, she handled it. At any moment things can change. Your spouse and family could pass and your friends can disappear into the sun, and your left looking like a sad puppy because you have no idea on how to get things done. Nope not this girl!
A closed mouth, don’t get fed
Ooh, I can’t tell you how many times my mom has said this to me. If you are not familiar with this saying, it means if you don’t ask for what you want, you can’t expect to get it. The younger me would let it go through in and out the other. But as an adult I totally get it, I even find myself saying it to my kids. People have the tendency not to speak up because they are afraid of what the outcome may be, but without asking you will never know. The worse that could happen is that they say, no. She always told me, you can’t expect people to read your mind, and you can’t get upset at those who don’t know what you want or need if you don’t say anything.
If they don’t love you at your worst, they don’t deserve you at your best
Everyone has flaws and imperfections, and everyday you are not going to be at your best. You should not have to hide who you really are for people to embrace you.
Be smarter than what you’re working with
I’m going to be honest, I never understood what the hell my mom was saying when she said this. I would usually respond with, “Ok, ma” and then keep it moving. Throughout the years I finally started understanding what she meant. I understand now that she meant when faced with challenges (whether its something as small as changing a light fixture to dealing with a difficult person) you must: 1. You must actually understand what you’re working with so do your research. 2. Find the easier way to achieve something, why make things harder for yourself. 3. Think outside the box, there is more than one way doing something
Try your hardest
So, I’ve always been a horrible test taker. When I was in school I would have anxiety the morning of the test and I can remember my mom saying, “As long as you try your best, I won’t be mad at the results.” Not saying that she was absolutely thrilled if I happened to fail the test, but she knew that I used every resource I had to study for that test. As a mom, I am now telling my kids the same thing. I want them to know that all I ask for is that you try your absolute hardest in everything that you do. If you happen to fail, it’s ok; it only leaves room for improvement.
So mom, thank you. Everything I am, you taught me to be. I will always love you for every sacrifice that you’ve made for me. You are truly a wonder woman. In the words of Tupac, “You are appreciated.”
-XOXO your daughter Kahla Jas.